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As a full time family minister, author of more than 50 books on marriage, parenting and family life, owner of the first marriage school in Africa, Marriage counsellor, called to build homes and restore family life, I have put many years in fruitful labour behind me into building homes without running any Church. Giving this level of involvement in family restoration, sustenance and repair, it always gives me pains when I hear about turbulent marriages, separation or divorce, especially when it concerns high profile individuals like Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and Anita his wife.
Till now I have held back my comments on this matter on the internet and decided not to say anything about it in the papers. But my encounter with a young man who wanted to go ahead and divorce his wife changed my stand. The young man said, “If Pastor Chris can do it, it is not wrong after all.” Hence, I think it is better to talk, strengthened by the saying of one wise man. He said, “Evil will reign not because of the noise of evil men, but by the silence of good men.” Who knows? This counsel I’m about to give may help somebody, or heal a home.
I want all readers of this piece to note that I am neither judging nor taking side with either of the couple. It is a straight counsel as I address different set of people.
(1) REJOICING CROWD
To those of you out there, rejoicing over this case, thinking it is all over, you will not laugh last. Mocking crowd and panel of judges, why do you rejoice at halftime into the ‘match’? It is not yet over. The God of restoration will step in through the prayers of the saints. It is only in the Lord’s army that soldiers rejoice when a comrade falls or gets wounded at the battle front. In other instances soldiers protect, carry, defend and help fallen comrades. Stop rejoicing over them; pray instead, and the situation will not continue like this. I am not a fan of Pastor Chris. In fact, I do not agree with many of his teachings. But in this case I pray both parties come to their senses and allow the scripture to prevail. Let them stop playing God and humble themselves, because I perceive both are still riding their high horses. Attacking and counter- attacking each other as if they’ve never been friends or lovers before.
2) PRAYING SAINT
It is time to pray. If you are doing that already, don’t stop until the battle is won. God must restore Pastors Chris and Anita into their old love and bring new wine into their marriage. So, join me and my wife let us pray for them. You may not even like them; you may not have a stake in their lives or have anything to do with them or their ministry, but let’s do it for them as comrades. Let’s do it for their innocent children who will bear the brunt. You know when two elephants fight, the grass suffers. Let’s do it for the kingdom and let do it for the feeble ones who may emulate their indiscretion you will be rewarded for it.
(3) SUPPORTERS CLUB
To all Brethren and Pastors in Christ Embassy and beyond that have been taken sides, supporting either Pastor Chris or Anita, you are wrong. In every marital dispute nobody is guiltless. A Chinese proverb says, “If the wife is wrong, the husband can never be guiltless.” So, stop supporting any one of them; rather, be on the side of their marriage and their children who, am told are really hurting and angry. Stop painting Anita as a devil. If she is a devil, what will you call Pastor Chris? It take devil to marry a Devil, Whatever a wife is perfectly describes her husband. They are one body. So, stop writing negative comments on the net; just begin to pray for them so that God can remove the covering on their faces, that they may come to the light of truth (as it happened in the case of Benny Hinn) and save the destiny of millions of souls attached to theirs.
(4) AFFECTED SAINTS
I was somewhere recently; there I heard the news about a young couple who were ready to divorce, saying it is not bad if Pastor Chris that they respect and see as a model could be going through it. To many of you in similar situations, whose faith is shaking because of this messy divorce case, please remember that you never gave your life to Pastor Chris but to Jesus. Pastor Chris never died for you, but Jesus did. The Bible is not the word of Pastor Chris; it is the word of God and God will not change it because of this issue. The truth still remains the same, that God hates divorce. Culture can change, men may turn around, but the word of the Lord remains the same.
Don’t put your faith in man. Let it be on the word of God. The truth is the best man no matter how strong or anointed he is, is still a man. The fact that a man is anointed does not shield him from marital crisis, Marriage is not built by anointing, and it is built by knowledge, understanding and wisdom.
(Proverbs 24:3-7) That is why we have many anointed pastors who are also wife beaters. When any man or woman falls short of the principles of marriage, no matter how rich, famous, anointed, and wise they are they get their finger burnt. That is what happens in cases like this. So keep your focus on God.
(5) PASTOR ANITA
Ma, you may think you have all the reasons to quit your marriage. But then you know “quitters never win and winners never quit” I am not aware of any efforts you have made before now, to get your husband’s attention on certain things, but you need to do more and pray. You are a woman of faith. Remember the title of the book you wrote years back titled: DONT PACK YOUR BAG YET, sister why are you packing yours now, do you think God made you to write that book in error, Know the message is actually for you. SISTER, DIVORCE IS NOT THE OPTION. Somebody said “divorce is a stupid answer to a difficult question” Clarifying this statement, he said, “It is like cutting your leg because you have a sore in it, or your head because of a severe headache.” So, check where you have fallen and rise; withdraw the case and become a good example to millions that call you Mother, biological and spiritual.
Please, note that divorce is worse than the death of a partner. When a partner dies, he is buried. But in divorce you must live with the ‘buried’ partner. You will still meet, more so since you have children. Your lawyer may be happy he is smiling to the bank, and the devil too, he is happy to make your home join the statistics, don’t permit him now. We who are lovers of families, including yours are very sad and worried, because of the effect this will have in the life and marriage of millions of young ones. Many will certainly be affected and possibly fall out of faith should you take this case to a definite conclusion. And will God be happy about this? Your children are not happy, already. People that have genuine love for you and your husband are very sad indeed. Please, put the devil to shame. Don’t take this case to a certain conclusion. I advise you get my book entitled Fight for that marriage on Amazon. I believe it will greatly be of help.
PASTOR CHRIS
With due respect Sir; permit me to speak as a man called into building marriage and restoring home. Definitely, I will not write this without utmost respect for you and what you have achieved in life and ministry. You are endowed with great anointing, your delivery is unique, your organizational skill is excellent, your follower ship is in millions, you are a man that enjoys unique grace, and blessing of the lord. But sir, there is a missing link, so, I will say the truth. Perhaps, it may help you. I read in the papers that your wife has been living alone in London since 1999. You know it is contrary to the scripture if it
true, if this is the truth you know this is the foundation of this issue. Why are you married and still live alone, sir it is unscriptural no matter how we want to explain it.
Letter By : PASTOR BISI ADEWALE
Remember To Like Our Page On Facebook: \ Follow Us On Twitter : Follow @Gemulah9ja
As a full time family minister, author of more than 50 books on marriage, parenting and family life, owner of the first marriage school in Africa, Marriage counsellor, called to build homes and restore family life, I have put many years in fruitful labour behind me into building homes without running any Church. Giving this level of involvement in family restoration, sustenance and repair, it always gives me pains when I hear about turbulent marriages, separation or divorce, especially when it concerns high profile individuals like Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and Anita his wife.Till now I have held back my comments on this matter on the internet and decided not to say anything about it in the papers. But my encounter with a young man who wanted to go ahead and divorce his wife changed my stand. The young man said, “If Pastor Chris can do it, it is not wrong after all.” Hence, I think it is better to talk, strengthened by the saying of one wise man. He said, “Evil will reign not because of the noise of evil men, but by the silence of good men.” Who knows? This counsel I’m about to give may help somebody, or heal a home.
I want all readers of this piece to note that I am neither judging nor taking side with either of the couple. It is a straight counsel as I address different set of people.
(1) REJOICING CROWD
To those of you out there, rejoicing over this case, thinking it is all over, you will not laugh last. Mocking crowd and panel of judges, why do you rejoice at halftime into the ‘match’? It is not yet over. The God of restoration will step in through the prayers of the saints. It is only in the Lord’s army that soldiers rejoice when a comrade falls or gets wounded at the battle front. In other instances soldiers protect, carry, defend and help fallen comrades. Stop rejoicing over them; pray instead, and the situation will not continue like this. I am not a fan of Pastor Chris. In fact, I do not agree with many of his teachings. But in this case I pray both parties come to their senses and allow the scripture to prevail. Let them stop playing God and humble themselves, because I perceive both are still riding their high horses. Attacking and counter- attacking each other as if they’ve never been friends or lovers before.
2) PRAYING SAINT
It is time to pray. If you are doing that already, don’t stop until the battle is won. God must restore Pastors Chris and Anita into their old love and bring new wine into their marriage. So, join me and my wife let us pray for them. You may not even like them; you may not have a stake in their lives or have anything to do with them or their ministry, but let’s do it for them as comrades. Let’s do it for their innocent children who will bear the brunt. You know when two elephants fight, the grass suffers. Let’s do it for the kingdom and let do it for the feeble ones who may emulate their indiscretion you will be rewarded for it.
(3) SUPPORTERS CLUB
To all Brethren and Pastors in Christ Embassy and beyond that have been taken sides, supporting either Pastor Chris or Anita, you are wrong. In every marital dispute nobody is guiltless. A Chinese proverb says, “If the wife is wrong, the husband can never be guiltless.” So, stop supporting any one of them; rather, be on the side of their marriage and their children who, am told are really hurting and angry. Stop painting Anita as a devil. If she is a devil, what will you call Pastor Chris? It take devil to marry a Devil, Whatever a wife is perfectly describes her husband. They are one body. So, stop writing negative comments on the net; just begin to pray for them so that God can remove the covering on their faces, that they may come to the light of truth (as it happened in the case of Benny Hinn) and save the destiny of millions of souls attached to theirs.
(4) AFFECTED SAINTS
I was somewhere recently; there I heard the news about a young couple who were ready to divorce, saying it is not bad if Pastor Chris that they respect and see as a model could be going through it. To many of you in similar situations, whose faith is shaking because of this messy divorce case, please remember that you never gave your life to Pastor Chris but to Jesus. Pastor Chris never died for you, but Jesus did. The Bible is not the word of Pastor Chris; it is the word of God and God will not change it because of this issue. The truth still remains the same, that God hates divorce. Culture can change, men may turn around, but the word of the Lord remains the same.
Don’t put your faith in man. Let it be on the word of God. The truth is the best man no matter how strong or anointed he is, is still a man. The fact that a man is anointed does not shield him from marital crisis, Marriage is not built by anointing, and it is built by knowledge, understanding and wisdom.
(Proverbs 24:3-7) That is why we have many anointed pastors who are also wife beaters. When any man or woman falls short of the principles of marriage, no matter how rich, famous, anointed, and wise they are they get their finger burnt. That is what happens in cases like this. So keep your focus on God.
(5) PASTOR ANITA
Ma, you may think you have all the reasons to quit your marriage. But then you know “quitters never win and winners never quit” I am not aware of any efforts you have made before now, to get your husband’s attention on certain things, but you need to do more and pray. You are a woman of faith. Remember the title of the book you wrote years back titled: DONT PACK YOUR BAG YET, sister why are you packing yours now, do you think God made you to write that book in error, Know the message is actually for you. SISTER, DIVORCE IS NOT THE OPTION. Somebody said “divorce is a stupid answer to a difficult question” Clarifying this statement, he said, “It is like cutting your leg because you have a sore in it, or your head because of a severe headache.” So, check where you have fallen and rise; withdraw the case and become a good example to millions that call you Mother, biological and spiritual.
Please, note that divorce is worse than the death of a partner. When a partner dies, he is buried. But in divorce you must live with the ‘buried’ partner. You will still meet, more so since you have children. Your lawyer may be happy he is smiling to the bank, and the devil too, he is happy to make your home join the statistics, don’t permit him now. We who are lovers of families, including yours are very sad and worried, because of the effect this will have in the life and marriage of millions of young ones. Many will certainly be affected and possibly fall out of faith should you take this case to a definite conclusion. And will God be happy about this? Your children are not happy, already. People that have genuine love for you and your husband are very sad indeed. Please, put the devil to shame. Don’t take this case to a certain conclusion. I advise you get my book entitled Fight for that marriage on Amazon. I believe it will greatly be of help.
PASTOR CHRIS
With due respect Sir; permit me to speak as a man called into building marriage and restoring home. Definitely, I will not write this without utmost respect for you and what you have achieved in life and ministry. You are endowed with great anointing, your delivery is unique, your organizational skill is excellent, your follower ship is in millions, you are a man that enjoys unique grace, and blessing of the lord. But sir, there is a missing link, so, I will say the truth. Perhaps, it may help you. I read in the papers that your wife has been living alone in London since 1999. You know it is contrary to the scripture if it
true, if this is the truth you know this is the foundation of this issue. Why are you married and still live alone, sir it is unscriptural no matter how we want to explain it.
Letter By : PASTOR BISI ADEWALE
Remember To Like Our Page On Facebook: \ Follow Us On Twitter : Follow @Gemulah9ja
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